Friday, March 15, 2013

Taking charge...

I am fed up, with myself. I have made excuses for the last time. In my minds eye I am a healthy Mom playing with my kid, and running on the beach with my husband. Hiking, biking, swimming, playing cards with friends....WITH OUT A CANCER STICK HANGING  FROM MY FACE.

I am so very tired of putting off my life, because I am tired. Or gross feeling. It all comes back to smoking. I have struggled for months, to quit. I start out strong, make it a few day, and crash. I have been afraid to quit. I have let it dictate my life for the last time. I don't care that my husband, parents, ALL of my closest friends smoke. I'm ok with spending less time with them because I am quitting. I hope I can inspire them to do the same. But, they have to find their own way.

I want to be proud of me! Here are the reasons I want to quit...

~ My son has asthma. While I have always taken great care not to smoke around him or in our home. I need to set an example for my boy. He has seen my struggle to quit. I have not blinded him from the addiction it is.

~ My momma had a heart attach in my car. While I was driving her to the hospital. She smokes. Still.

~ My daddy is currently in the hospital for aorta issues. He has smoked for as long as I can remember. I don't ever want my son to see me the way I have seen my dad the past few weeks.

~ The usual. I don't like that I smell like an ashtray. I don't like the time I have wasted running outside real quick. I don't like the amount of money I spend on them. I don't like the control I let smoking have in my life.

~ I am tired of being tired.

~ I miss singing. I want to sing like I use too.

I am letting go. Smoking no longer has a hold on me. I know it's an addiction, that I have to kick. It will not be easy. But I AM GOING TO DO IT THIS TIME. I CHOOSE MY LIFE.
Post a Comment